Grandpa Ky

On October 4, 2012, we lost Matt's dad, Mike. As many of you know, Mike was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer last October. He had been sick since the previous March, and we were told last October it was pancreatic cancer. He wasn't given a great prognosis, but that didn't stop Mike.

A week before he passed, he had a check up at Mayo. The good news was that the tumor in his pancreas hadn't grown or shrunk, but that it was the same. The bad news was they were starting to see some hot spots in his bladder and colon. The doctor and Mike decided to do a couple rounds of chemo, to slow it down. The following Monday Mike started a new round of chemo, and on Tuesday he had a bad reaction to it. He had to go to the hospital to wait it out and rest. Matt's sister went up that Wednesday and Mike was doing better, but he was still in a lot of pain. Throughout the day he got better, and Jess came back to Des Moines. Thursday morning we got the good news that Matt's dad was feeling better and ready to go home. We had already had Jude's baptism planned that weekend, so we planned on seeing Matt's parents there, or if Mike was too tired we were heading there to see him either before or after the baptism. Mike and Terri headed home, and unfortunately soon after Mike got home he had a pulmonary embolism (blood clot), and it was just too much for him. Due to Mike's cancer and chemo regimen, he was at a higher risk for them. It was a shock to all of us. Even if he would have been in the hospital there is probably nothing they could have done. Unfortunately these things happen.

After some reflection, we all realized that he felt no pain, and that gave us some comfort. He was in a lot of pain, and to see him when he hurt and not be able to take it away just broke your heart. As Matt's brother pointed out, Mike was adamant that he was going to beat the cancer, and in a way he did. It has been very hard on all of us, but we are so thankful to be closer to home and to have each other. Illness and death really make you realize how important your family is and just how precious the lives of your loved ones are. Mike was a great father and grandfather and his loss is a huge hole in our family.

Over the last year we were able to spend lots of time with Mike. Last Christmas when we told everyone that we were pregnant, he was so happy and excited. He said that he already knew I was pregnant, not because Matt told him, but because of Grandpa intuition.

The day we had Jude, my parents happend to be on there way back from Cedar Falls for Clare's graduation so they were able to come see us that day. We called Matt's parents and though it was 3 in the afternoon, they were going to come that night, they couldn't handle it. They got to Fort Dodge and realized they forgot Mike's medicine so they had to turn around and go get it. Most people may have said I will wait till tomorrow, but they still came. They were so excited, and given Mike's diagnosis the year before, I was so happy he was there and got to meet Jude on his day of birth.

Matt's dad handled his diagnosis just like a dad and grandpa would. He never complained, he never showed how scared or sick he was, he just worried and cared about everyone else. He continued to be a good grandpa, driving to Des Moines for games, playing with the kids, and making us big meals. He devoted all his free time to being a dad and grandpa, and he loved when the house was full of kids.

I met Mike almost 8 years ago. Mike was so excited and happy that Matt had a girlfriend. At that time Matt was 26 and he had never brought a girl home to his parents, or introduced them to one (though Matt would point out that there were plenty of girls he DIDN'T introduce them to... yes Matt we know that you were Rico Suave. ..)

The first time I met him, Matt's parents came to Cedar Falls to meet Matt's gf, and we went out for Mexican food. Mexican food would be a common theme throughout Mike and I's relationship. That man loved food. He loved cooking food, eating food, talking about food, going out to eat, which was great for me because that is also one of my favorite things. Mike had a huge garden every summer and luckily for me, he always grew too much for him and Terri to eat, and Matt and I would be sent home with the best peppers, tomatoes, onions, everything! Like Matt and I, Mike and I both had a love of politics and current events. We would also get into discussions about what was going on in the world, and how much we disliked so and so (mostly republicans :) ). He was also so interested in what I was doing, whether it was college, law school, or working, he just wanted to know what was going on.

Matt and Mike on our Wedding Day

I am very happy I got to spend 8 years with Mike. Though I wish we got 30 more, I am thankful for the time we did have. My husband adored his father, like any son would. They had a special relationship that I honestly haven't seen between lots of parents and kids. Sure we all love our parents and have a bond, but even Matt's siblings say that Matt and Mike were buddies. Matt says it is because when he was little his mom went back to school and Chris and Jessie were older, so it was Mike and Matt who did everything together. Matt was the only one who could convince Mike to go to Godfather's for dinner, and as stubborn as they both are, Matt always had Mike's ear and vice versa.

I am going to miss him, we all are. There are lots of great stories and memories we will share with Jude, and lots of sayings or Mike-isms, that I have a feeling with be utilized in Jude's childhood. I am so thankful for Mike because he gave me my family. He gave me my husband and now Jude. Two boys that I cannot imagine my life without. I know how much he loved all of us because I know how much I love Matt and Jude. I am also very grateful for my Kajewski family. Mike was the foundation of our Kajewski family, and he will truly be missed.No one can ever be Grandpa Ky, and it breaks my heart that Matt doesn't get to talk to his dad everyday and that Matt doesn't get to share his experience with fatherhood with him. We know that he is always with us, and that he will live on through the stories, pictures, and memories we have. Thank you to all of you who expressed your condolences and prayers. We really appreciate it.