Now that the majority of our friends and family know about our impending expansion, things are returning to normal, or as normal as they will be from now on. I still haven't told everyone at work, I am still holding on to my secret there. I don't know why, but I kind of enjoy that I get to keep it to myself, if only for a little while longer. I had an appointment this week, and everything is going well. Still no weight gain, but I know I will make up for it. Weird that you aren't gaining weight, but your pants don't fit... the irony.. Well before we went out for dinner one night this weekend, we took 14 (almost 15) week belly pics. Just a little bump...
and Matt's
Now for the gross part. This whole pregnancy stuff is weird, creepy, and pretty awesome. Just about the time I was no longer feeling hung over, I encountered a new wonderful pregnancy side effect... constipation. I am talking about it openly because no one told me about it! See I am a girl who enjoys my bathroom time. That is the reason I subscribe to Vanity Fair, it takes a whole month to read it, and People, who doesn't like pictures of celebrities while doing their business! People who say reading in the loo is gross, are weird to me. Because I think those people are missing out on one of the greatest American pass times.
So I started having issues and I tried everything I was told to do. More exercise, high fiber, weird juices, steady probiotics, softners, double espressos.. and I got zilch, nothing, nada. After a way too long of time period, I had to use the dreaded last resort. And so I don't have to spell it out, let's just say you can't take an oral laxative during pregnancy, so there is one choice... you get the picture.
So I did it, and the first time I had to do it, I was in Algona, during New Years, AT MY IN LAWS!!! Can you ask for a more embarrassing predicament!! So I did it, and it was horrible. I thought I was going to die, I started sweating, I had to open the window, I then really thought I was going to die, my vision got blurry and then when it was over, I felt like a million bucks! Luckily for me I have a fabulous Mother in law, who was very concerned and was relieved I felt better when it was over. She was even so sweet as to text me a week later and told me she was thinking of me and my constipation, and hoped I was feeling better. She is the best, and my issue has now become a family affair! Unfortunately I have had to do this another time, but my system is getting more refined. But I am begging for a natural PC! (Potty Crisis, hence the title above!)
So I am hoping it gets better. I have heard from other moms who have had this issue and some say oh it will go away, or it will last the whole time, or that it only gets worse...oh happy day! I told my mom, that when people say you will never love anything as much as you will love this baby, I really better feel that way because if I have to put things in my exit to feel better for the next 6 months, it better be the best god damn baby out there! (DISCLAIMER: for those who don't know me and are reading this, I am joking, I know I will love my baby, I already do more than I could ever imagine, this is just my sense of humor, and I just really want to take a sh*t.)
8 comments:
Oh, Mo. I just love you and your honesty. I'm not pregnant, but this is something I deal with, too. It really does affect your moods!
OMG!! I am at a loss for words!! :) I really wish I could help you but fortunately for me or unfortunately for you, never had this issue!! Poor thing! I love the fact your mother in law is so concerned about you!! Very sweet. I hope it all gets better in the end(pun intended!) In fact let's see who can come up with the best pun for this posting!! I think the possibilities are endless! Worse comes to worse, there is always Taco Hell(as my children call it!) Works every time!! Good luck!
I'm with you about quality time in the bathroom. The magazine rack is in my bathroom, not Randy's. And when he brings in the mail on Friday, he tosses me my People magazine and says, "Your new Poo-ple is here. You can go to the bathroom now."
Good luck with the poo-poos.
Oh the joys of growing a human life in your body! Seriously, Mo. This made me laugh out loud like a million times. Good luck!
since we're being honest here...i only heard one story about constipation when i was pregnant with oliver...a former co-worker was so constipated that when she finally passed her business, it was the size of a pop can. this story made me nervous. but, i never experienced it still...until afterwards...after delivery...the post-partum days when things are creepily out of whack & you're still wondering if they'll ever go back to normal...at this point you'll definitely want to continue those stool softeners the doctors recommend. it was at this time of "pregnancy" that it hit me...& by the time i passed my business...i came scream-crying out of the bathroom that i just lost a turkey leg out of my bum! so...just keep it up!
Holy business. Yes. Did it. Sucked! I took Miralax. It's an oral laxative but doesn't pull any extra fluids from your body. It works whatever is in your digestive tract. So, you do have to drink a lot of water with it, or eat a lot of fruit (pears, peaches) to keep water in the system. Worked for me......and is safe for infant use....as we later had to find out ;-)
And....while we're being honest....there are A LOT of things that people/mothers/books/etc don't tell you. I could write my own book on those things...the things I laughed about during my own experiences that no one happened to mention. Like..the placenta isn't this little thing that your baby has been feeding off of. It's EASILY the same size if not bigger than your baby! It scared the crap outta me! And...the clean-up work after your done. And....the fact that you might (and probably will) poop on the table while you are delivering. I could go on and on.
Oh Mo, I love to read your posts! You make me laugh and I can't wait follow you thru this pregnancy
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